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How to tell if your boyfriend is gay – http://ow.ly/45QQX
Notes to the link above:
I wrote this article at least 2 years ago and I continue to edit it just to make it more readable (i.e., ‘palatable’ is the better term) to certain readers and editors who I suspect don’t agree with a number of views I have on ‘how to tell if your boyfriend is gay.’ Whose business is it anyway if someone is gay or not? It’s the person himself, in most cases, because we can’t help ourselves but try to poke into other people’s businesses. And in most cases, gay people themselves who have been in the same case have the best set of advice on these matters, which case applies as well to this writer.
The issue becomes more interesting whenever others are involved and when someone’s being duped because one’s pretending to be straight (or probably having a lot of unanswered questions on his sexuality). Of course, it may not be intentional on the part of the gay boyfriend but it becomes a different issue altogether if someone’s just playing a silly game while being in the relationship, which means ‘the girl’s being taken for a ride.’ It’s always stupid to consider women as being stupid and that they’re just taking things on the surface. Women always have the means to think through situations, including questions they may have in mind when they see signs their boyfriends are seemingly gay.
If you’re the boyfriend and if you’re realizing you’re actually gay, the courageous and manly action to take is to admit to it and gain respect in the process. Remember: to continue living a life you’ve imagined for yourself, you gotta have so much courage to be able to do it. For all you know, your girlfriend will just accept you and love you as you are. But just do it as soon as quick as you can, which will help in overcoming more challenges that may come into the relationship. You’ll certainly be happier (which others may continue to deny on certain grounds), and you’ll have better prospects of leading the kind of life you envision for yourself. And you’ll make it easier for yourself when people leave you when they find out you’re gay: these are the very people you ought not to be being friends with in the first place.
If you’re the girlfriend, be more loving and accepting, which can be easier said than done. Understand that your boyfriend’s really undergoing a very strange situation. And keep in mind that most men can’t even describe fully in words what they’ve been having in their hearts, which can be the case with your boyfriend. That will mean, he’ll be unable to talk these issues out. Don’t even put words into his mouth. Just like having a child of your own, be ever ready to accept what boyfriend’s made of, apparently. And check out other helpful, positive-sounding materials out there from people who have been into similar situations before. Don’t even bother to check out materials from religious groups or those into the academe; most of them are ‘armchair theorists’ who don’t know any better except they’re considered experts because they’ve been studying these issues in the classroom setting. There are certain exceptions, of course.
All these tips have to be taken with a grain of salt, as most would say. There’s really nothing prescriptive here – I’m writing mostly from my experience. You may have to keep on learning from the experience (as well as with other aspects of life); think through most clearly about the issues out. And decide and take action based on what you’ve thought out. Love and forgive yourself if you think you’ve played a bad role as to why these events have taken place in your life. Then continue moving on with your life.
Sounds complex? Yes! Write me a note if you think I can provide more help.
Related articles
- Anne Hathaway thinks shes dated gay guys (wwtdd.com)
- ‘I don’t want to live denying I’m gay’ (guardian.co.uk)
