Clouds!

BOTH SIDES NOW (Joni Mitchell)
Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I’ve looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s cloud illusions I recall
I really don’t know clouds at all

 

Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I’ve looked at love that way

 

But now it’s just another show
You leave em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know
Don’t give yourself away

 

I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s loves illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all

 

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I’ve looked at life that way

 

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I’ve changed
Well somethings lost, but somethings gained
In living every day

 

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all
I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

One Monday noon, after a lunch out, I found time to lie on the lawn of Carl Schurz park, where they have separate dog running facilities for small and big dogs.  Vincent, a friend who sends his life descriptions to over 2000 people in his directory, graciously found time to lead me to this park, that’s close to the Gracie Mansion, the official residence of NYC mayor, somewhere in the Upper East Side, that faces the East River, and Roosevelt Island.  The clouds above us provided a much comforting sense of state of where we are that time, as I focused my gaze on the blueness of the sky.  The following relaxing period allowed me to ponder and say thoughts aloud, sharing my long term goals, among all other dreams, plus snippets of my past in the ensuing moments.

I must have counted at least 15 big jet planes flying and passing over us, at  very higher altitudes, as they’re reduced to small toy-like figures, and perhaps preparing  to land in one of the 3 airports nearby. The sun’s glare threatened to mess up the comforting exercise we’ve been doing; the nearby tree’s foliage shaded us from some distracting angles. We took turns in taking photo shots (1 cloud shot of his is here); I felt so grateful, and had a vision of the eternal.

These are really simple pleasures.  I must have done this when I was a little child. I remember something vivid from my childhood years.  Something about being at play, and being very free and gleefully happy. I’ve figured out now why some will go out of their way to lie on park lawns, with clothes off, doing activities including sunning sunning.  I remember a new female acquaintance who just arrived from somewhere, getting surprised at seeing people practically naked while lying on green lawns in parks like Central Park. I remember the quiet exhilarating moments while lying on my back, with my clothes on, and I had a close awareness of the passing time, as I heave my sighs, becoming more aware of my breathing, my nostrils taking in air, my lungs expanding to process the vital elements, myself exhaling again, all the while getting fulfilled with the sight of the hovering clouds above.